Releasing Control

Releasing Control

It's easy to convince ourselves that we are in control of everything in our lives.
We eventually learn that we are in control of only two things: Our own thoughts and actions.
We can fool ourselves into thinking that we can control our spouses, children, friends, employers, etc.
But do we?
We can plot, manipulate, e.t.c. to get our own way, but ultimately the other person makes their own decision. We didn't force anything to happen. We may have encouraged it, but we didn't cause it. Our attempts to control the people and situations in our lives don't usually come from pettiness or greed. Most often, it is pure fear that drives us. If we can't control what our loved ones do, they might hurt us, reject us, betray us or abandon us.
Handing our heart to someone on a silver platter is a tremendous act of faith and love. If by chance that heart gets tipped onto the ground and trampled, it's a feeling we don't forget easily. Once we've been betrayed, it is very difficult to trust again. We don't want to experience that sharp pain again, so we try to control the situation and prevent it from happening again.
But we cannot control the actions of another, no matter how desperately we might want to. It's important to differentiate between control and power. Just because we are not in control of our loved ones, does not mean we are powerless in our relationships. When something happens that is out of our control, we are then faced with a decision.
How do we react to this situation? What do we want to do about it? While we couldn't control the actions of the other person, we can control our own actions and responses. That's the problem, we're trying to control the wrong things.

'Life' grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

When struggling with the circumstances of our life, introspection might help us decide if we're trying to change things that are out of our control. If we can shift our focus and concentrate on the things we are in control of, it can have a domino effect in the other areas of our life. Release our fear of powerlessness. We are not powerless. We actually have much more power than we realize. Power over our own fears and emotions - which by the way, are usually what get us into the most trouble. Knowing that we are never truly a victim in our life can be tremendously freeing.

Remember that we always have a choice. Releasing the illusion of control can be frightening, but that is an illusion. We were never in control of these things to begin with. We just convinced ourselves that we were.

e.

Nicos Pavlides
Ayurvedic Consultant
AyurvedaHarmonia